By John Malam
Real pirate history with the grim parts left in, and your child is the prisoner: captured off a treasure ship in 1716 and dragged through what pirates did to the people they caught.
The 'You Wouldn't Want to Be...' series drops your child into the worst seat in the story. Here they're the captain of a Spanish treasure ship in 1716, and pirates have just taken the ship. What follows is a tour of a prisoner's worst days: shackled to the deck through sun and rain, shoved into a rat-filled hold that reeks of bilge water, threatened and starved into talking, and hoping the best outcome is being left alone on an empty island. Underneath the jokes it's real pirate history, how the ships worked, what the flags meant, how a crew actually ran, told as grisly comedy with deadpan 'Handy Hint' gags and David Antram's goggle-eyed cartoons.
It's for the pirate fan who's decided storybook pirates are a little babyish and wants the real, gross version. This is genuine nonfiction, and your child comes away knowing how pirates lived and what happened to the people they captured, but it's dressed up as a gross-out comic, which is catnip for a reluctant reader who'll pick up anything funny and disgusting. The dark material stays firmly cartoon. Nobody's death gets dwelt on, the punishments are drawn as goggle-eyed slapstick, and the whole tone is a wink.