By Vicki Lansky, Jane Prince
A bear cub's parents are splitting up, and the whole book is one message said out loud, over and over: this is not KoKo's doing.
KoKo Bear's parents tell KoKo they are getting a divorce, and then the book follows what happens next in the order it actually happens. One parent moves out. KoKo doesn't want to go to the new apartment. KoKo gets angry, gets sad, wets the bed, acts up at daycare, and wonders whether being extra good will bring the family back. Nobody in the book is a villain and nobody is fixed. What the story does instead is name each feeling as it turns up, and then answer the question underneath all of them, which is the one in the title. It is not your fault. You didn't cause it and you can't undo it. KoKo has no gender anywhere in the text, on purpose, so the cub is whoever your child needs it to be. Running along the bottom of nearly every page is a separate set of notes written straight to you: what this stage looks like, what to say, what not to say.
It says the thing plainly and then says it again, which is right for this age, because a young child often won't take a hard fact on board the first time they hear it. The reassurance is spread across the whole book instead of saved for one line at the end, which is how it tends to work at home too, in small repetitions over months. The other thing it does well is put the feelings in order. Your child watches KoKo be furious, then miserable, then bargain by being extra good, and none of it is treated as bad behavior. It's just what happens. For a child who's been scared by their own anger, seeing a bear cub do the same thing on the page can be a real relief.